Arizona was very hard to leave. Yes, for the usual reason of having to leave my daughter there, but also, because I LOVE – IT – THERE.
Every time I step foot on that Arizona airport tarmac, I am filled with emotion. I feel every part of my body relaxing, and it’s as if I am finally “home.”
I’ve always dreamed of living in Arizona. As far back as I remember, it was my dream home destination. I think I’ve written about this before, so I won’t ramble on.
My daughter, Abigail and I were discussing this feeling in me during our last visit. She wondered if I carried a connection to the desert, since I lived there in my formative years – I lived in southeast New Mexico when I was 21.
Abigail and her husband, Adam, moved to Tempe in 2013.
Adam was accepted into the master/doctorate program with tuition remission and a stipend. They have been there since, as he is still in school. They both hate the desert. They hate the heat and how it imprisons them. They long for the green of the Midwest and the changing seasons and colors that go with it. My daughter stated, “I’m sick of tan!”
Abigail and I chatted about changing perspective. The sooner we accept and embrace a situation, it seems the sooner we are released from it.
It was easy for me to talk to her about it. Easy for me to say – See, this is what you need to do!
Upon our return from this short visit, my husband, Mike and I were walking from the airport back to my car awaiting us in long term parking. Long term, but not long enough.
The sky was matte gray, the temperature a damp 59 degrees, and a saturating, chilling mist seemed to be coming from every direction. Mike sneezed, and I wiped my running nose. “Welcome back to reality,” I stated, sarcastically. “I miss Arizona already!!! I’ve got shell shock!” I added, dramatically.
We drove the hour to our house, where we were greeted by our dog, my mom and later, by our adult son and his girlfriend – so much love. Even so, I found myself wondering – WHY? Why do I have to live in the Midwest? Why can’t I live in the desert where my body feels good and my heart feels happy? Why did I put down roots so deep in a place that doesn’t feed my soul the way the desert does?
The next day, I felt a bit of self-pity seeping in. Okay, well, maybe more than seeping. Maybe it was becoming my reality. Maybe I was becoming a river of self-pitying tears. That voice that said – I hate Indiana. I hate my job. – was taking over.
And then, I remembered. I remembered what I told my daughter. “Maybe if you embrace this place, you will be released from it.”
Physician, heal thyself!
I cannot be a victim of my circumstance unless I choose to be.
Shift. Shift. Time to change perspective and focus. The things out of reach always look better than they do up close.
Again, I choose gratitude as my attitude. And from there, happiness grows! I’m still not giving up on my dream of living in the desert. After all, dreams are necessary to keep us looking forward. But in the meantime, I will carry it in my heart! I focus on the possible. And not on being a victim of circumstance.