Well, another year is coming to a close. It is hard to believe it is that time of the year. A co-worker just shared that sentiment, and I stated, “I think we say that every year!” She responded, “No, time is going faster!” She was serious.
I guess once you reach a certain age, time does seem go faster. I’ve had days that went by quicker than others, and at the time, I wonder, could it be that time really did go faster today? Maybe you have had that same experience.
Maybe time seems to go faster when you are older, because we stop anticipating things in the way that children can’t wait for Christmas or school to be out. We just go through our daily routines and the time rolls by without our noticing each minute. In a way, I am happy not to have that anxious anticipation and impatience for the “next big thing.” Yet another side of me feels that one should have things to look forward to.
I have a bad habit of not letting myself look forward to things for fear of being disappointed. As children, we are many times told, “Well, don’t look forward to it. You may be disappointed.” So I have myself trained with a steel shield against disappointment. I downplay the possibilities for fear they won’t emerge. It’s a hard habit to break, and I am reminding myself of it always. It’s okay to look forward to things. It is okay to open your arms and say, “Yes!” And to accept what does finally emerge. Even if it is not what you have envisioned, the unknown can be much better!
2015 lies on the other side of midnight. It is a huge unknown. All the best laid plans can go to pot, but until that reveals itself, I look forward to this next year with a few things planned already.
In February, my husband, Mike, and I are flying to Arizona to visit our daughter, Abigail, and her husband. My husband’s brother is flying there from CA to golf with Mike. Abigail has to work the three days that Mike’s brother is there, so it appears that I will be spending some time alone at the rental condo. I admit, at first, I was a bit like – What the heck! I am going to be sitting around waiting! Why am I using vacation time for this?
Then it donned on me. How many times have I stated that I would love a vacation where we weren’t running here and running there, constantly having to be entertained? I’ve always dreamed of a getaway where all I had was myself and a good book (and a body of water.) And now it is presenting itself to me – just not exactly as I had envisioned it. For three mornings, I will be on vacation, with a book (or several, as I never leave home without one), and a body of water (even if it is an unheated pool – I didn’t ever envision getting IN the body of water, anyway – I just wanted the serene quality of water.) So now I am excited! I am scoping out books and planning some hand work – embroidery or applique or hand quilting – to take along. And my daughter let me know that there is a Starbucks within ten minutes (walking) from where we are staying. Could I ask for more?
My oldest son will turn thirty in March! Is that even possible? My youngest turns twenty-five! These are true depictions of time flying by. Motherhood was a great roller-coaster ride – exciting, thrilling and terrifying – but I am not into roller coasters anymore, so I am happy to have my children at the ages they are. They are now the best friends a person could ask for.
I am looking forward to my daughter’s “surprise” visit for my birthday in April. Yeah, I am not supposed to know. And thus far, I have not told her that I DO know! Which I find very entertaining. Let’s see if she reads this post! I will know the minute she does!
Surprises are fun – for other people. But I am a person who likes to prepare for things. I know that sounds controlling – and, well, it is! I own it. In this case, I hope to prepare for her visit by making appointments for her and myself at our favorite spa.
My youngest sister turns 40 this year, my younger brother, 50, oldest sister, 60 and my mom will be 80. Lots of big parties this year.
So Happy New Year! I hope it is filled with smiles and pleasantries, but for those trips along the way that land us on our faces, I wish for us all, the strength to get up, brush off and just be glad to keep walking.
2015 – Here we come!