The trees are reflected in the mirror of the pond, and as I lean in to see more clearly, I fear I could lose my balance and fall head first into the murky water. My head seems a bit heavy these days, with the troubles and worries like a heavy weight upon my shoulders. The image of the Queen of Hearts from Alice In Wonderland comes into my mind. Her bobble head upon her tiny body reminds me of how I have been feeling, and I can’t help but think of the contradiction of it. Her head so large, she definitely portrayed someone who lived from their ego, yet she was named Queen of Hearts.
I chuckle at the thought, then see the connection to my own life and emotional state.
My attention is brought back to my nature surroundings by a large bullfrog jumping into the water. It must have been startled by my husband making his way soundlessly around the edge to his next casting point. He has brought his rod and reel with a lure that he is trying out. I find a part of me resenting my lack of gear, as I sit unoccupied, watching his victory, as he reels a mighty bass from the water. He holds it up proudly, then tosses it gently back into the murky deep. Recounting the details of his catch, I wonder if he is telling me or just listening to it play one more time in his head, like he is a sportscaster or something, as I did see the whole thing.
Realizing I am better off unoccupied with no fishing gear, forced to be in my surroundings, I find the peace and quiet of nature pulling the stress and tension from my shoulders. The frown that I feared might take up permanent occupancy and dig a trench in my face has now eased its descent and is now a faint line running from cheek to cheek.
Nature reminds me to stay out of my head. The problems and dilemmas that life has handed me, as of late, have not dissipated with the humidity of the day. They will be there when I return home. And they will be there in the morning. And new problems will replace these when these have been resolved. Yet I realize the Queen of Hearts has no place in my life. Off with my head. And open my heart!
I take my place behind my husband on the four-wheeler. The air brushes past us, as we make our slow and bumpy ride back to our house. Two deer leap through the bean field beside us. We duck for a low hanging branch. It seems that it is necessary to step outside our normal setting to this place where we can feel the support of nature and be reminded that home may be where the heart is, but you will still find the peace of mind outside.