Reconnecting

Shopping.  Massages.  Indulging in delicious food.  That’s how I spent the day yesterday.  But the most important element of the day was my daughter.  We laughed and talked, but what really mattered was the unseen element.  The energy that we share. The familiarity.  That link that we formed the minute of her conception. 

It’s hard to believe that it has been almost thirty years since that date.  But the I knew before the first time I felt her stir within me that we would have this spiritual relationship.  She was a kindred spirit that I dreamed of before she formed flesh. 

After the shopping and the food.  She and I sat on the leather couch in front of the fireplace of our favorite spa.  I reached over and held her hand.  Tears formed in my eyes, as I told her how much I missed her.  Life’s busy schedules and distance keep us from being together.  We send random texts throughout each week, but sitting on that couch next to her, I let myself really sink into the energy that is her. 

It is a dangerous thing to do.  Like an addict succumbing to the drug, my withdrawal can be painful.  But her love is a drug worth the pain.  A realization came to me; there is nothing like a day spent with your daughter.  There is a nurturing replenishment that takes place as the feminine reconnects with the feminine.  Like two pieces of a puzzle that have been pushed around on the same card table and finally find the right place. 

On the drive back to her house, she grew quiet and somber.  I asked, “What’s wrong?” Figuring it would be something to do with her fiance’.  But instead she answered, “You’re going to leave.” 

Life goes on. 

As a supportive mother, I never want my daughter to feel she cannot leave me.  And I am comforted to realize that no matter whether my daughter and I are, side by side or miles apart, we have a connection that no distance or busy schedule can break.  We need only dare to tap into that feeling.

I am blessed with three children.  A daughter and two sons.  And although this female connection that I share with my daughter seems to evoke such profound movement in me, I am blessed to have similar connections to my sons, each different and just as special – but different.  I guess it would be tough for them to know what it is to be a woman, and in this, I am sure they share that same inner knowing with their father.  That  is – if they let themselves go there.  As I watch them, I see the guard that they protect themselves with.  A shield of sorts against feeling –  too much.  Even so, I know it is there.

With that, I remind myself to set down the shield, and to know that there is nothing to fear.  Although the person possessing the love may move far away, the love remains.  One must only take the risk of indulging in it.

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