The fluctuation of emotions is like the smoke coming from the furnace chimney. It blows one way and then the next. Excitement for the holidays can quickly be stolen and dissipate into the gray skies by the green Grinch who seems to lurk around every corner of my mind. Needless to say, I haven’t put up the Christmas tree. My body has even rebelled with feelings of illness pushing and pulling at each corner of my being. Just when I rise to descend into the basement storage to dig through the stacked cardboard boxes, my body cries out, “NO, not today! You can do it tomorrow. Just – do – anything else, not that!”
What the resistance is about seems to be tied to the same resistance of my life right now. The resistance to move forward and LIVE. And like the car that refuses to start, I have the urge to get up and kick my tires!
There is a part of me that keeps wishing for an enthusiastic partner, child, friend – ANYONE – who will pump me up. Stand me in the corner of the ring and while I bounce on my toes, taking in deep breaths, they’ll get in my face and yell encouraging things, like – “Get out there and show ’em watcha got! You can do it!”
But it seems the crowd has long given up, gone home and they’re turning out the lights. It’s all up to me now.
So today, I am kicking my own butt! Time to jump out of the ring and down to the basement! Christmas is coming! Ready or not!
It’s time to embrace it! Live it! Enjoy it! And let the crowd inside go wild!