I walked outside. The wind shoved at my shoulders, and the cold air nipped at my neck and fingertips. My eyebrows arched, as I felt blindsided by the sudden change of seasons. A chill ran through me with a rush of energy and emotion. Like a mixing bowl of ingredients, salt and sugar amidst flour, I felt the dread of winter mixed with the sweet relief from the summer. As I stirred the emotions carefully around and around within me, I came to the final product – “ahhhh.”
My shoulders let down their guard from what – I don’t really know. Maybe just a conglomeration of things. Maybe it was just residual. Whatever, there was something in that fall breeze that took it away and left me feeling the relief and the ability to take in a deep cleansing breath.
The excitement of anticipation filled me, although a small voice inside kept asking just what I am anticipating. Cold mornings creating the need for warming the car? Frost on the windshield that must be scraped off? The need for socks on cold floors?
All those things and more came to my mind, as some force tried to take away the excitement that fall always brings about. It happens every year, as the leaves change to glowing colors of orange and gold. Like a child on Christmas Eve, it is a visions of sugar plums feeling inside. As I search for some tangible outer thing to attach it to, some future festivity or occurance, I find, once again, there really is none. It is in the fall breezes and the gray foreboding skies lit only by the glow of the changing foliage that I am moved beyond the stagnant air of summer. It reminds me that I’m alive and happy to be experiencing the changes that life brings. And as the wind’s ornery hand lifts my collar and slaps it against my cheek, I smile and feel the love behind it and the presence of my soul.