I plopped down on the couch; the sort of euphoria that Fridays seem to bring about filled my head. It was a carefree, something to look forward to, kind of feeling. And as I sat there, reality set in, and the fact hit me that the next day was not Friday. No, today was Wednesday. Not even a closer day like Thursday. It was barely Wednesday, so what was I feeling so “TGIF” about?
Now in the past, I have had that realization (that it wasn’t Friday) send me into a fit of anger or sad disappointment and even, in a really bad week, depression. But this time, I felt that silly giggle in my tummy that you feel when you realize you have put the sugar in the frig or your shirt is on backwards.
It took a few more seconds before I fell into pondering what that feeling inside was really about. Just what was I excited about? And then I realized just what was happening, for it came to me that I had felt the same way the night before. And the only thing the two nights had in common was that I had spent time each night quilting. Yes, it was the quilting that was sending me into this high that seemed to have no attachment.
I laughed out loud and explained to my husband and youngest son what was happening, and my husband gave his usual, that’s interesting, “Huh!” That was his way of letting me know that he was listening, and trying to be interested (and thinking he fooled me into believing that he truly was.) My son piped up and said, “I hate when that happens. I’d rather never feel that way than to be let down like that.”
I really understood what he was talking about. I find that is the theme song to my life. Don’t get your hopes up for something that may not happen. But one thing I have realized is that no matter what you do, it is going to happen. You will look forward to things that will not turn out as you expected, and you will also dread things that will have a surprisingly wonderful outcome.
So why not just enjoy the pleasure of that tingle and tickle of anticipation – even if it seems that there is nothing to anticipate or that whatever it is may never come to pass?
I went on to tell my son that with the realization that it was creativity that made me feel that way, I could just use my creativity to create this feeling any time I desired. Because, let’s face it, isn’t that the feeling we all live for? It’s the feeling of Christmas coming. And if anyone were to pull the reality card, they’d have to admit that Christmas never matches up to the preceding anticipation. (And even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, it is the same with any anticipated occasion).
So I guess the way I look at it is this, I can choose to live each day in a monotonous routine, trying to control my surroundings and events of my life so as never to have that let down, or I can engage in something that takes me from the monotony and sends me into other realities that hold excitement and power. Sure, it doesn’t last forever, and I still have to get up the next day and go to a very boring job, but I know that when I get home, my quilting is waiting there and I get to go there again! And just that realization gives me a tickle to carry in my stomach throughout my day. With that, I grab my thread and go!